Life Story & Reasons for Atheism
My name is Noureddine, and I am originally from a very religious and conservative family. I started questioning religion and gradually became an atheist in 2021. Growing up, I was expected to strictly follow religious rituals, such as fasting during Ramadan and also every Monday and Thursday. However, I always felt like I was pretending and hiding my true self. This constant need to act against my beliefs caused me a lot of psychological pain.

I reached a point where I asked myself deeply: Why do I follow this religion? Who says it’s the truth? How can I be sure? After long months of internal struggle, research, and critical thinking, I came to the conclusion that there is no convincing reason for me to follow any religion. I realized that religion was not bringing any value to my life, only restrictions and fear. I wanted freedom — freedom to think, to express, and to live according to what I believe.

I attempted to flee to Europe, searching for a place where I could live honestly and freely, but I failed. In 2024, I had had enough. I decided to go to Turkey and arrived in January 2025, hoping it would be my path to Europe and to a new life.

Unfortunately, I was scammed by smugglers and lost most of my money. I’m still suffering from financial hardship. But worse than that — I live with the fear of returning to my country.

Back home in Morocco, I once confided in a close friend and told him I no longer believed in Islam. He became angry and told other people. Soon after, I was being labeled a "kafir" (infidel) and a "murtad" (apostate). Some young men threatened to beat me, and there were rumors that the police would arrest me. I had no choice but to pretend again — I returned to performing religious acts just to survive.

Since that day, I have been completely isolated. I trust no one. I keep everything inside, and it has deeply affected my mental well-being. I do not want to go back to a place where I must live a lie every single day. I want to live in a country where I can be who I am without fear.

This is my honest story.