I am a Pakistani ex Muslim and am now an atheist. I can\'t put my real name or location within England here for my own safety.

I always loved science and maths as a child, and it was clear to me that science was the best way to learn about the universe, whereas religion was clearly dogmatic, manmade, and used as a tool to control through fear. People usually believe in religion because it gives then comfort and makes them feel important. People usually believe in God because they feel it gives then a reason to exist. There is no evidence or logical reason to believe in either. Thus, I am an atheist.

My entire family are highly strict and highly conservative Muslims, to the extent that some of them donated to the Taliban. Straying from the religion was not even an option. Religion was the central, most important thing in my childhood. I lost my faith at the age of 18, but could not tell anyone. However, several years later, my parents found out by accident. The consequences were dreadful. I was disowned, threatened, insulted, and emotionally blackmailed. This happened for several years, at which point I could not take the emotional blackmail anymore, and pretended to revert to Islam. Luckily, my extended family never found out, my parents would have died of shame, but I still live a lie to my parents, and probably always will. My relationship with my parents is now forever broken, and will never be what it was.

I was born in Pakistan, but have moved to the UK and have luckily managed to obtain British citizenship by living here for long enough. This citizenship has been a life saver for me. I still have fear when entering any Muslim country, as almost all of them carry death by stoning as the punishment for leaving Islam. I fear they may discover that I am an atheist, so I pretend to be muslim when asked. I should not have to do this. I dream of a better world without this.

I feel safe in the UK and think of it as my true home. I can be myself here, and noone will hurt me. I don\'t want to live in Pakistan again, where I feared for myself every day. I love the British people for their tolerance. I hope it stays this way.

If you want to contact me (e.g. if you are in a similar situation and want advice), my username is faisalrehman on the forums here.