I come from a very religious family. My siblings and I were sent to religious schools since the very early years of your childhood. I managed to memorise the Quran by the age of 16 and many Hadiths alongside.
Although I was a devoted Muslims who did practise Islam on daily basis, I had never felt connected to the so called "God" and I felt like I didn't belong in the Muslims community.
I used to respect Islam and think it is a very moralistic religion that always gave me motivation to spread love and be good to others. But I came to realise that was the version I wanted of Islam. I deliberately ignored all the verses that promotes hate, misogyny, intorelacne, violence and many other things that contradicted with what I really believed in. However, held strongly on those
promoting "giving the poor" , wishing to find the "real Islam".
After exhausting all the excuses, trying to find the "correct" interpretation of Quran and rejecting Hadith, I left Islam in 2015.I still don't know exactly how I feel about it.
I am still in the closet due to the fact I live with my family and I am surroneded by a massive Muslim community which means less safety for me as an apostate.
I lead two lives , one as a practising Muslim and the other as ME.
Sadly, I have been living in constant fear since leaving Islam as well as loneliness and an overwhelming feeling of "not fitting in"; and I was hoping ,by joining the CEMB, to find people who are like-minded, people who I can be myself with and I hope I can also support others who are going through this experience.
Just want to say, we are family and I am here for everyone <3

Thanks for reading