as a little child my parents used to beat me even if i wasn't wrong i had phobias from my childhood and nightmares , i had no friends and my relationship with others not that good because of my speaking phobia , but i always loved the meditation and I was a very curious person who uses the imagination a lot and it kept me alive by running away from realistic
growing up i had to face many life problems as a child in Muslims county and i was a smart student but as you know in schools they teach you what they want and you have to save it and say it as a parrot i didn't like to live in this way so i had many problems to handle , with people's pressure on me i was about to lose my mind they say that i'm hunted by demons From my mental illnesses and fantasies and because i'm over curious and many stupid thing and i had to believe and there was no choices as the other religions they said Islam is the only right religion and the way to heaven while others will go to hell , i had no one to talk with so i had to handle it myself , sometimes i end up crying in my room from psychological fatigue and life pressures but if my father woke up and saw me crying he hit me more , when i talk about my dream it will end up in a bad way because i'm just a girl who should be born only for homeworks and sex&bed and to live as a machine in her parents house to her husband house
after bad Islamic treatment i finally start to search the truth first i became a feminist because of the verbal and physical abuse i've been through all my life and because of my passion to art and writing i create a social media life such as Facebook and started to post my art and opinions but religious people start to follow me and comment bad things after a year of searching i finally left Islam and find the real way , i've been an atheist for almost two years or more so i had to face many difficult things such as hacking my accounts 9 times , trying to find more information about me , sending me videos about how ISIS killing people and threats messages ,so i don't go out and i graduated from high school in 2013 but i couldn't finish ,y studies in college , also my relationship with my family is bad because they're Muslims but i still have to pretend that i'm Muslim and to wear muslim clothes and if i say no they will beat me again and again i'm really sick of all this because all Libyans are Muslims as you know and life here is really sucks i had enough of living like a slave and i never get the love or support from anyone in here
i have a passion for art which 's illegal here so even even the simplest rights I can't take as a woman and even in art they make it Limited , trust me Living in Libya is Like living in a hell , because of war which is started in 2011 till now so the embassies here are closed , i'm trying for almost 2 years to get the hell out of here and to go anywhere non-Muslim countries and to texted some organizations but they always ignore me or say that Libya is not in their system even scholarships i even tried to find a new family but nothing works with me and people around me always put me down so i'm still stuck in here
today while my searches i find this so i was so happy to finally find someone could understand and help me and also looking for new friend who understand and accept me as who i am
this is a short part of my life