I was slowly stifled and abused verbally and physically by my father. I grew up with very strict rules about communicating with the opposite member of sex. I then was diagnosed with eating disorders, depression and anxiety. My family said God was punishing me for my sins and that's why I was unwell. I am now quite isolated, broken and stuck in life. I read the Qur'an, I did not like it.. It is harsh and scary and I do not agree with things like homosexuality being a sin. I believe we are all just humans and should treat each other with kindness. I feel really torn by my past. I felt a lot of cognitive dissonance for a long time. I want to move forward in my life whole and complete and be able to plan things for myself.
I feel really broken.
I want to talk to someone.
I don't know where I can share these thoughts.
I feel afraid of just being myself.
I feel afraid when I pass other mmuslims or people in head coverings etc..