It's my first time feeling mentally free, i've been gone through a long conflict with myself for years,i wanted only to have a decisive attitude towards my orientation either devouted muslim or nothing,cuz it's so hard to live inside a country where islam is state's religion, it is a hard mission to look for the hidden truth cuz the majority of well-educated ppl(sociologists,scientist,scholars,...) r muslims, but the most difficult stuff is living inside 99,999..% muslim society.
Currently, iam silently living my life without feeling of shame or fear of demons,judgement day,.... like when i was a muslim.