I have roots going back to Aden, South Yemen which was actually a Marxist state for circa 23 years though I am UK born. I feel like this has been suppressed in the discourse about Middle Eastern history because it does not fit the stereotype about this vast and important region. I feel like this is my true heritage, not Islam, in a more practical and meaningful way as I cannot relate to a religion that dates back to late antiquity. There have been many key moments that have encouraged me to be open about the reality of my atheism - realising that I was raised Muslim without consent and this was seen as normal, learning that the universe is 14 billion years old and that no holy book or religious traditions can explain that, admitting that no human can meet Islam's standards for entry into a "heaven", feeling horror finally one day upon hearing the descriptions of punishment in "hell" reserved for humans who are to be condemned to spend eternity there in the Koran, like Surah Al Masad which describes a woman having twisted fiber around her neck for all time, understanding that the version of Islam I had been given was just that a version/an interpretation of a philosophy not inviolable truth. I think that ultimately Islam is a shibboleth, a belief(s) that has come to characterise being Middle Eastern and therefore it is intertwined with the way I am perceived racially and ethnically (i.e.) "I am Arab because I am Muslim and I am Muslim because I am Arab" and it is for this reason that people view becoming/admitting to being an Ex Muslim as something nonsensical even impossible. I think this is a discriminatory attitude against people with darker skin who have deep links to those places on the world map that once succumbed for sustained periods to political versions of Islam or still do. We are being forced to align ourselves with a kind of politics and a philosophy we do not agree with on various grounds, morality being one. This is holding us back and preventing our development on many levels e.g. intellectually. I find it is very hard to be taken seriously as an atheist sometimes due to the attitude that I have to be Muslim due to my race/ethnicity. I am sick of being patronised on this issue and of people insisting I must be a fan of a "God". I am also weary of the hypocrisy that surrounds Islam - I feel like people will not give up the label of Muslim but in their actions, behaviour etc. nothing they do or say betrays that they are a Muslim according to the definition they follow. This hypocrisy always seems to be rewarded but the moment you admit that you are not actually practicing and have doubts or have lost all faith, you are vilified. The expectation is that you stubbornly insist you are a "Muslim" but genuine conviction and practice of one of the versions of Islam is really irrelevant. Blind loyalty is expected and I think this is coming from political especially sectarian concerns. I feel isolated and somewhat threatened in my atheism and it would be ideal to find like minded people who have seen through Islam. I would like to join to support others who are able to renounce Islam which is a very difficult decision in reality and to position myself as someone who is for modernism and secularism - I am an ATHEIST, I I am ANTI-THEISM.