I am a closeted ex-Muslim that came from Saudi Arabia with a Pakistani background to the UK 5 years ago for university. I want to join CEMB because I feel like this is the only place where I will be listened to and won't need to be afraid of any sort of persecution from either the state or family. I come from a traditional, religious Muslim Pakistani family and even though they are far away from me, they still control me or at least try to, from thousands of miles away and that in itself is so suffocating to the point where it gives me suicidal thoughts sometimes. I need to be able to breathe freely.