When I was 15 I realised I didn’t believe in God. Growing up in a Pakistani Muslim family everyone I knew believed in god, and in a version of him that felt suffocating. It’s been over 5 years since that revelation, and years of me knowing that I would have to leave my family and cut ties to live a more authentic life. That time is coming soon for me, and while I’ve pushed away the trauma of what leaving means, now that it’s on the horizon it’s getting harder to deal with. I have no friends that are ex Muslims, I rarely even use the term myself. I’m looking for some understanding and sense of community.