I was a Muslim for nine years of my life before I started to learn that there were indeed people who are different than me; different backgrounds, ethnicity and religion that they were born into. Then I found the concept of empathy which in all intend and purposes, absent within Islam (or any religion for that matters). From that point, more questions regarding the bigotry and unscientific of a religion kept adding up. I kept and surpressed all the questions inside with fear of letting it all out and be viewed as a munafik or someone who just want to rebel against Islam or just plain a sinner who would be hell-bound, while at the same time still holding on to my belief thinking my views and morality of the world were indeed, unacceptable.

I typed the word \'atheism\' on Google when I was 18 and I remembered holding my breath for a minute thinking a lightning will strike me and smite me somehow, which it didn\'t and my skin did not turn black which made for a good sign. With growing curiosity and still being skeptical about Islam, I enlighten myself cautiously with Islam and other religions as well as the opposing views (atheism perspective). Three years later (proving how lazy I am), I read the Quran cover to cover with translation which I have never done before. Right after that, I officially became an atheist.

While I kept being an atheist incognito to not shame my family and thrown random profanity by strangers, I do want to meet and talk about my brewing interest in theology to like minded people where being an atheist in a Muslim world can be quite lonely.