Dear CEMB,
My name is Eslam, and I’m writing from Egypt, where I’ve been hiding who I am for two years. I’m an ex-Muslim, an atheist, and I’m so tired of living a lie just to survive. I’m reaching out because I need your community—I need to connect with people who understand what it’s like to feel trapped and alone, and I’m hoping you can help me find a way to keep going.
Leaving Islam has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. In Egypt, I can’t tell a soul I don’t believe. Not my family, not my friends, not anyone at work. It’s too risky. If people knew I’m an atheist, I could lose my job, my relationships, or even my safety. So, I pretend—praying, fasting, acting like I still believe in something I don’t. It’s like I’m wearing a mask every single day, and it’s breaking me down. Lately, it’s gotten worse. I’ve been thinking a lot about an easy way out, a way to escape this fear and pressure. Those thoughts scare me, and I don’t want to feel like this, but it’s so hard to see a future where I can be myself.
I dream of a day when I can live openly as an atheist, free from this fear. One day, I want to change my name from Eslam to a new name that feels like me, a name that doesn’t tie me to a past I don’t believe in. That’s the moment I dream of—the moment I can finally be free to be who I am. But right now, I’m stuck, and I need help to get through this. That’s why I want to join CEMB. I need a safe place where I can be honest, talk to others who’ve been through this, and maybe find ways to cope with living in a place where I have to hide. I’m hoping you can offer me support, maybe advice or just a community where I don’t feel so alone.
Please let me join your community. It would mean everything to have a place where I belong, where I can share my story when it’s safe, and maybe one day help others like me. Thank you for reading this. I really hope to hear from you soon.