NameEnya Ahmed

I would like to join this organisation because ever since I've left islam I feel so alone and my mental health has gotten worse, even tho I'm closeted so still in contact with my family, I can't talk to them about it. It would mean a lot for me to be able to communicate with people in the same/similar situation and to have some sort of emotional support system.

As for background information, I live in London and I'm turning 21 in about 3 days. Although I really try to feel hopeful about the future sometimes its hard to see the end of the tunnel. Ever since I've left I've felt so anxious about the future. I don't know if I'm ever going to come out, since I don't want to loose my family. Yet I don't want to live a lie either. I don't think I've ever been so torn about anything before. I always felt like I was a strong-willed, decisive person but I don't even know anymore. I've seen many people forced to choose between their family or partner, family or career...etc. However, I feel like i have to choose between my family and myself, and how could I even begin to do that when I thought that we were one? I mean we all have individual personalities and lead separate lives, but I can't imagine life without them. I also don't want anything to do with this religion. I don't necessarily hate it but it's so obviously man-made. Sometimes I feel like just blurting everything out thinking that they would understand me and leave too, but that wouldn't happen even in a million years.

To keep it short, I know that there are so many people like me out there, going through the same struggles. Therefore, it would mean a lot to join an organisation where I can be heard. I also believe that communicating with people in the same boat as me would help my mental state as it would lessen my fear and anxiety about the future. Not to forget, that I'm so grateful that organisations like this exist to help people like me, but especially others who are in far worse situations than myself. So, I'd like to end this statement with a warm thanks to the organisation.

PS: Enya is not my real name. I just thought I'd let you know 🙂